


so fill to me the parting glass

by ohallows



Series: AU snippets [1]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Au snippet, Escape, Goodbyes, Love Confessions, Minor Injuries, Other, Rings, head knight barnes, royal cel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:35:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohallows/pseuds/ohallows
Summary: “We don’t have a lot of time - I’m sure they’ll discover that I’m missing -“ One bell rings out, above the silence of the night, and a cold chill settles into Cel’s blood. The alarm bell. They know someone’s broken into the prison, and it won’t be long before the entirety of the royal guard comes down upon them, dragging Barnes back to the prison and Cel back to their room, likely never to come out again.The only time they have is now.
Relationships: (again give us ANY nb relationship option ao3), Commander James Barnes/Celiquillithon "Cel" Sidebottom
Series: AU snippets [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098191
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	so fill to me the parting glass

**Author's Note:**

> god this is self indulgent. was listening to a lot of shanties and got emotional abt this specific scenario
> 
> BACKGROUND: cel, a royal, and barnes, a knight, were having a secret relationship. they got discovered and barnes got thrown in jail to be executed by the king and queen, cels parents. that’s it.

Cel presses themselves against the wall as footsteps sound outside their door, waiting for the moment when the guard will pass. They have a limited window after he disappears before the next one shows up, so they need to make the most of it. They pull the hood of their cloak over their head and wait, counting the paces under their breath, and then turn the key in the lock. (One of the maids, one who Cel managed to get on their side, had slipped it to them along with one of their meals.) 

They’ve been locked in their room for three days now. Meals have been delivered to them through a flap in the door, and their parents have refused to entertain them for more than a few moments at a time. All because Cel dared to fall in love with someone below their station and refuse to let him go when ordered to. 

Three days of panicking, waiting for the moment when Barnes would be brought up to the executioner's block. Three days of begging their parents to change their minds, to let him go free instead of rotting in a jail cell under the castle. Three days of guilt, blaming themselves for putting Barnes in this situation. 

Three days. Long enough to learn the guard rotation - it’s always the same, day after day, and later, Cel will find it in themselves to address that particular security concern, but for now, it’s going to be the thing that helps them rescue Barnes.

The door opens with a creak, and Cel winces before pulling it quietly shut behind them, slipping into the nearest alcove. 

Their breath comes fast from the adrenaline, and the second guard walks by. They pause for a moment, looking at the door curiously; Cel claps their hand over their mouth silently, terrified that their breathing will alert the guard to their presence. Time feels like it’s slowed as the guard takes a step to the door, but then they stop and shrug, heading along the hallway. 

Cel slumps in relief, but they don’t let themselves have any longer than a few seconds to celebrate. They don’t have enough time before the next guard rotation will appear, so they quickly slip out of the alcove and hurry down the hallway. It’s a slow process, peeking around corners and double checking to make sure no guards manage to spot them. The prison is a few floors below their room, and they hurry down the stairs, hoping that they won’t get noticed. Luck seems to be on their side; none of the guards stop to check out any suspicious, and they’re all exact on their rotas, to the point where Cel actually gets down to the prison earlier than they were expecting. They pause outside the room where the guards sit, pressing themselves back against the wall. 

“Please work,” they whisper, and pull a mask over their mouth and nose. Their goggles come down over their eyes, and they pull a flask out of their pockets.

It’s filled with a curling yellow smoke - one of their own inventions, created one afternoon with Barnes - and if it works as it should, the guards won’t have enough time to react before they fall into a deep sleep. They crouch down and pull off the stopper, rolling it into the room. One of the guards notices it before the rest, but his cry of alarm is cut off as the smoke reaches his lungs. With one thud after another, the guards hit the ground, all collapsing fast asleep. 

Cel does a little fistpump, eyes sparkling behind their goggles, and hurries into the room. The concoction should work for a few minutes - 10 at the absolute most - so they don’t have any time to spare here, either. Finding the keys is a simple task; one of the guards had been in the process of hanging them up on the wall, and Cel swipes them from the hook. There are only three keys on the ring - one an old rusty metal, one a new copper colour, and one a silvery colour that is nothing more than a straight tube, without any teeth. 

Not stopping to wonder why, they head on further into the prison, heading toward the cell at the end of the block. It’s the only one in use at the moment, and it’s too dark to see anything more than a dark lump of a person laying down on the floor. Cel’s heartbeat accelerates as they get closer, and they finally get close enough to make out Barnes through the bars. 

He’s covered in bruises and dried blood, curled up on the stone floor with his arms wrapped around his abdomen. His hair is a mess, torn out of the loose bun that he always keeps it in, and his clothes are ragged and tattered. It almost looks like they’ve been ripped halfway off of him. They can’t stifle the gasp at the sight, and clap their hand over their mouth. The noise makes Barnes stir; he groans in pain as he rolls over onto his back, staring roughly in the direction of the cell door.

“Who’s there -“ Barnes slurs, eyes hazy with remnants of pain. The guilt sat in the pit of Cel’s stomach only grows as he opens his eyes, but they push it down and cover their lips with a single finger. Barnes, even in the state he’s in, immediately quiets, trying to focus on their face in the dark. 

“It’s me,” Cel whispers. “I’m getting you out.”

“...Cel?” Barnes asks, and sits up with a grunt. “No, you - you can’t, you’ll be in trouble if we get caught, we -“

Cel elects to ignore him. They scramble with the keys in their pockets, hands shaking as they find the correct one, and stick it in the lock as quickly as they can. The door to the jail cell swings open, and they dart inside, sinking to their knees next to Barnes on the floor. Without missing a beat, Barnes struggles to sit up, hand reaching out to Cel, and they pull him into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry,” they say, clutching Barnes to them, careful of his bruises. “I didn’t - I tried talking to my parents, but they refused to listen. I -“

“S’okay,” Barnes says, hand shakily running through the hair on the back of their head before settling on the back of their neck. The touch almost immediately calms them, as much as it can in this particular situation. “It’s not your fault.”

Cel swallows, but doesn’t argue. They know it is. Nothing Barnes says can change that - if they’d been more careful, if they’d convinced their parents of anything, if they’d recognised the danger and refused to even get involved with Barnes in the first place… none of this would be happening. 

“...Here,” Cel says, and presses their lips tightly together as they rifle through their pockets. They find a dark bottle with a red potion inside, and pull it out triumphantly. “They were keeping me locked in my room, but Zolf managed to sneak some healing potions in. Honestly, our security is terrible. Or maybe it’s just that too many servants are loyal to me instead of the crown. You know?”

They uncork the potion and shift until Barnes is able to lean most of his weight on them. He takes the potion, and Cel helps guide it to his lips. He drinks it slowly, wincing at the flavour, but downs the entire thing, and Cel puts the empty bottle back in their pockets. 

“Can you stand?” Cel asks. “I know the potion hasn’t started working yet, and if I could give you fifteen more minutes I  _ would,  _ but this is - well, time isn’t on our side, I’m sorry to say, and we don’t -“

“It’s fine,” Barnes says, and he looks doubtful but determined. Cel doesn’t know if he’ll be able to actually stand - it doesn’t look like anything is broken, but some of the bruises are nasty enough that Cel knows he must be in astronomical levels of pain.

“...Come on,” Cel says, and carefully wraps Barnes’ arm around their shoulders. Their hand goes around his waist as they help him to his feet, and they pause for a moment as Barnes gasps in pain. The potion should be starting to kick in soon, but they can’t wait for it to start working before they get out of there.

The path out of the dungeon is long and arduous; it’s a secret entrance that Cel had found as a child, one that’s never been covered, but the labyrinthine twisting passages make it impossible to navigate unless you know where you’re going. Which, thankfully, Cel does. The path winds around, leading to different dead ends, but Cel carries Barnes effortlessly through the different tunnels, only having to stop a few times for him to catch his breath. The bruises slowly begin to fade as they go; the potion works quickly, and by the time they make it to the end, Barnes doesn’t sound like his lungs are rattling every time he takes a deep breath.

They pause at the exit, Cel carefully helping him lean against a wall. The door is ancient and rusted, and the lock is a finicky old thing that rarely cooperates. They jam the key into the lock and turn it, muttering prayers to whatever gods are listening that it will work. It resists turning for a moment, fighting back against them, and Cel rests their forehead against the metal, grinding their teeth together in frustration. But it does move, eventually, and with a sigh of relief, Cel pulls the door inward. 

Barnes can walk on his own power now, and he does, Cel leading him through the door. He takes their hand before they’ve taken more than a few steps, interlocking their fingers, and Cel gives him a shaky smile.

“Do you -“

A flash of light comes out over the castle wall and they tug at Barnes to get him out of sight. Their back hits the wall with a dull thud, and Barnes crashes against their chest, steadying himself with his hands on the wall behind them. His forehead nearly knocks into theirs before he catches himself, and Cel doesn't breathe, eyes cast upward as they watch the guard on the wall walk past them. The firelight dances over the grass in front of them and then vanishes, signaling that they’ve moved on past them. Cel lets out a relieved breath, hands coming up to grab Barnes’ face gently and tilt it left and right.

“Are you okay?” they ask, worried, and he just nods and leans forward until his forehead is resting against theirs, eyes closed.

“Better now,” he says. “That potion really did a number. S’like I didn’t even get hurt.”

Grateful, Cel lets their hands fall, and Barnes steps away from them. He catches one of their hands, though, and doesn’t let go. “Not the most elegant rescuer you could have had, huh,” they say. “Can you run?” 

Barnes stretches his legs and shakes his head regretfully. “Most of the pain’s gone,” he explains, “but I might just go on and fall down if I try.”

Cel worries at their lip as they cast another worried glance up at the wall. “Okay. Okay, that should be - okay. Let’s go.” 

They move as fast as Barnes is able, heading toward the grove of trees that sits right outside the castle walls. It’s dark, with the trees growing gnarled and twisted around each other, and it’s the perfect place to hide away from the guards. At the very least, it will give them some time to get farther away from the castle before the search begins.

Cel leads him through the woods, pulse jumping at every single snap and crack of a twig around them. Barnes is similarly on edge, although his face is still twisted a bit in pain. They wish that there was something more that they could do beyond picking him up and carrying him the rest of the way (a feasible idea, were it not for the woods). Instead, they let Barnes take his time, and constantly glance back at the castle to ensure that no one’s followed them into the forest. 

Eventually, they make it to the outskirts of the woods, and Cel’s heart sinks into their stomach as they realise it’s time to say goodbye. They swallow heavily, and chance a glance at Barnes, who’s looking at them with a complicated look on his face. They force a smile onto their face, but it feels cracked and broken, and they know they aren’t fooling Barnes at all. 

“Zolf is waiting around the crest of the hill,” Cel says around the lump in their throat. (Zolf had agreed to the plan when Cel had convinced one of the knights to carry a letter to him.) “He has a horse for you. You - you both need to go, if you stay here, they’ll kill you.”

“Cel -“ Barnes starts, but Cel cuts him off.

“We don’t have a lot of time - I’m sure they’ll discover that I’m missing -“

One bell rings out, above the silence of the night, and a cold chill settles into Cel’s blood. The alarm bell. They know someone’s broken into the prison, and it won’t be long before the entirety of the royal guard comes down upon them, dragging Barnes back to the prison and Cel back to their room, likely never to come out again. 

The only time they have is now. 

“They know,” Cel murmurs, and steel floods their veins as they turn back to Barnes. “They’ll be starting the search now, beginning with the castle, and when they find the prison empty they’ll search the town and then spread out to the outer wall. You need to be far away before they start to search the town, okay?”

“Cel -“

“Zolf should have enough rations for both of you for a week - he knows his way around the outlying communities, he can bring you somewhere to rest up and  _ heal,  _ and then you two need -“

“ _ Cel,” _ Barnes says, and his always-serious voice is somehow even  _ more  _ so, now, when he takes a step closer and cradles their face in the palm of his hand. 

Cel trails off, unconsciously leaning into his touch, and their hand comes up to press his hand harder against their cheek.

“Come with me,” Barnes whispers, and the hope in his eyes  _ hurts.  _ “We can escape together - you and me. You don’t need to stay here.” 

They want to. They want to go with him so  _ badly _ , so much that it’s an ache in their chest that’s  _ screaming  _ at them to take his hand and flee. They could be happy, the two of them. Moving from town to town, exploring and seeing the  _ world,  _ being together… they could grow old with each other, fall even more in love throughout the years. Cel wouldn’t need to worry about famine or taxes, and Barnes wouldn’t need to worry about war, and they could just - that future could be  _ theirs,  _ so easily, if Cel just took his hand and went. 

They almost do, for a moment, picturing a life with him at their side. But, eventually, their hand falls and curls, and they press it against their chest as though that will stop the pain that sits where their heart used to be. It’s a beautiful wish, but it can never be more than that. The spectre of duty still hangs over them, and as much as they wish they could just take Barnes’ hand and alight into the night with him and Zolf, there are chains still holding them down here. 

“I can’t,” they confess, voice cracking. “I want to. But - I - I have to stay.”

“I don’t want to leave you here,” Barnes whispers. His hands fall from Cel’s face as he steps closer and grabs their hands instead, bringing them up between them. “When they find out you helped me, they’ll -“

Cel shakes their head. “I’ll be fine,” they murmur, careful to hide the fear curling in the back of their throat. Their parents are going to be  _ absolutely  _ furious, but they’re the only heir. No matter how angry they are, they won’t be able to do anything permanent to Cel, not without risking their own rule. They can handle being locked up in their room forever if it means Barnes gets to be free. “I - I promise. Please, James. Just go.”

“Cel…” Barnes says, and Cel can’t bear the pain in his voice, and they know that whatever he’ll say next isn't something they want to hear before he leaves. 

So, instead, they kiss him fiercely, desperately, and Barnes responds in kind, fingers threading through their hair. Their tears are salty and damp, and Cel knows that they must look a mess, but they cling onto Barnes as though they can force time to stop, to give them both more than just… this. Barnes’ hands shake on their wrist, and his lips taste like blood and the potion that Zolf made for him, but Cel doesn’t care, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. They kiss him for as long as they dare, holding him close and begging the universe to let this moment continue until they feel ready to let him go.

The alarm bells ring again, and Cel forces themselves to pull away, resting their forehead against Barnes’. The longer they stay here, the higher chance there is of them being discovered. 

“You have to go,” Cel murmurs, and Barnes’ hand falls from their grip as they take a step back. Their chest is aching as they look at Barnes, and they can already feel the chill creeping in around them. 

“I’ll come back for you,” Barnes promises, and there’s a steel in his eyes that Cel can’t bring themselves to doubt. “No matter how long it takes. I’ll find a way to return.”

Cel grabs his face between their hands and pulls him in, pressing a kiss to his temple. Tears slip from the corner of their eyes - maybe they were already falling and they didn’t notice, maybe they just started, and they can’t help but choke out a laugh at Barnes’ words. “Don’t be stupid. It’s not safe for you.”

Barnes shakes his head. “I don’t care. I’ll - I’ll get a disguise, or something. It - Cel, I - I  _ will  _ see you again.”

There’s nothing that they can say to that, but their hands slip away from his face and Barnes takes a few steps back, a look on his face that Cel doesn’t know how to decipher. They can feel their soul cracking in their chest, a deep, guttural ache, and watching Barnes walk away from them now might be harder than watching the guards take him away in the first place. 

An impulse rises in their chest, a desire that they’ve never known how to put words to, and Cel is many things, but  _ measured  _ isn't one of them.  _ Impulsive  _ has always been the life they’ve lived, and it’s no different now as they let the idea run wild in their mind before deciding,  _ yes, I want this. _

“Wait -“ Cel calls, and they  _ don’t  _ have time anymore, but Barnes still pauses and lets Cel catch his hand. “So you don’t... forget.”

They slip a ring, stamped with the royal crest, off of their finger and, hand shaking, put it on his finger. It’s a statement, one that only the two of them will understand; a favour of commitment and promise that Cel’s happy to part with, if it’s Barnes. They rest their fingers on the band, stroking along the cold metal. 

Barnes’ eyes look broken as he looks down at the ring; it’s a gesture almost too large for thanks, and Cel raises his hand to their lips, kissing the band on his finger before kissing the back of his hand. It’s not something that Barnes will be able to wear on his finger for long; it’s too recognisable, too obvious, and the both of them are too used to caution to be able to scream their love from the rooftops. A gesture made in secret, one that will only be for them, one that won’t be able to see the light of day. 

Cel hadn’t realise how much it would feel  _ right _ , even as the knowledge that this is just another form of goodbye stabs deeply into their chest. Barnes watches them for a while, and Cel watches the resolve harden in his eyes before he steps close to them, sharing breath in the space between them both. 

“Then you take mine, too,” Barnes murmurs, and takes off his necklace. There are twin rings on it, matching, and Cel shakes their head when they see it. “Cel. Please.”

“I can’t, they - those are your and  _ his _ rings, they’re not -“ Barnes turns their hand over and places one of the rings in it, closing their fingers over it. 

“This one’s mine. I still have his. And he - I loved him, Cel, and he loved me, but he wouldn’t begrudge me giving this to you. Okay?” Barnes says, and pulls their hand up to their mouth as he kisses their knuckles, an imitation of Cel’s earlier moves. His lips are shaking, they realise. “I - I wanted to get you your own, but -“ He gestures hopelessly back toward the castle, where the alarm bells are still ringing, where fires are being lit as the city comes alive in the confusion of the escape. “I don’t regret you. I don’t regret any of this. Okay? Keep this, and believe that.”

It’s too hard not to pull Barnes back in at that, so they do. He goes willingly, and their hands settle around his neck as his come to sit on their waist. Cel kisses him again, only for a moment. It’s everything they’ve wanted, and yet the victory feels so hollow, because they’re going to be losing all of it the moment Barnes steps away. 

“I love you,” they whisper, burying their head into his neck, memorising everything about him - the way he feels in their arms, how he smells like sandalwood and home, the way his head fits perfectly on their shoulder. They hug him as tightly as they’re able, and Barnes does the same, and Cel presses their lips against his neck and breathes him in one last time. They don’t know if Barnes  _ will  _ be able to come back; they know he’ll try, and Zolf will help, but… nothing is a guarantee, in this life. They take in a shuddering breath, realising that this may truly be the last time that they see Barnes, hold him. 

“I love you, too,” Barnes says, and his voice is rough with tears as he holds Cel even more tightly. “And I’ll come back. I swear it.”

Cel wishes this moment could last forever, the two of them together under the night sky, exchanging promises and kisses as they dreamt of a future together. A future that’s slipped through their fingertips, since the moment they were discovered three days ago. 

“Go,” Cel says, and finally pulls away. 

Barnes wipes away the tears under their eyes, giving them a last, secret smile, filled with regret at the promises that he’s no longer going to be able to keep, and Cel commits that to memory, too. 

Neither of them have anything left to say, so with one final look at each other, loaded with longing and love and understanding, Barnes turns away, hand sliding out of Cel’s grip. The bells ringing around them are the only sound in the quiet forest, and Cel stands vigil as Barnes walks away from them. He eventually vanishes from their sight, turning around the very hill where Zolf will be waiting for him. 

Cel wraps an arm around their abdomen, swallowing heavily as they fight gravity pulling them down to the ground. They feel… so alone, now, in these dark woods. All they want is to collapse and scream, and they let themselves do the first but not the second. Instead, they let their fingers curl into the soft loam of the earth. They listen to the trees rustling above them, to the silence of the forest around them, and they pour their anger and frustration and  _ longing _ out into the ground below, fat tears dropping to the grass. It’s a silent vigil, mourning a person who isn’t truly gone, and Cel lets themselves sob, driving the emotions out of their chest. 

Eventually, the tears dry, and their chest aches in a way that they’re sure will become familiar. Their fingers loosen where they’d been gripping the earth, and they let out a soft, steady breath to center themselves. They straighten up slowly, and set their jaw. 

There will be consequences for this action; they knew that to be the case when they decided to break Barnes out. (As if it was ever truly a decision - to imply that there was ever a  _ choice  _ beyond doing everything they could to save him feels… wrong.) And, even with the consequences, whatever they may be, Cel knows one thing for certain: they would do it again, damn the results. If there was ever a decision to be made between keeping Barnes with  _ them  _ and keeping him  _ safe… _ well, they know what they would choose, every time.

The guards find them before long; Cel goes willingly as they escort them back to the castle, none of them speaking beyond asking if ‘the prisoner’ had ensorcelled them. Cel keeps their head held high and scoffs at the very idea; the tear tracks are long dried on their face, but both of the guards seem almost reluctant to drag them back, for whatever reason. 

They still do, and with an apologetic nod, one of them bars the door to Cel’s room.

“You’ll have a guard posted outside your door.” A threat, or maybe a warning. Cel is too rinsed to try and figure it out. “I… am sorry, highness.”

Cel doesn’t respond, going over to their chair instead. They stare out the window of their room. The moonlight cascades down over the hill, stretching out over the water, and Cel watches the hills in the distance intently. Zolf and Barnes must have gotten away - Cel’s parents would already be in here gloating if they’d been captured. Relief fills their chest just as easily as grief, but they couldn’t have wished for a better outcome.

They twist the ring on their finger, and bring it to their mouth to press their lips to the cool metal. Resolve steels their blood, and their gaze hardens as their knuckles whiten, hands clenched in fists. It doesn’t matter how long it takes; Cel  _ will  _ find a way out of this room, and they’ll convince their parents that they were both wrong, and they’ll start making changes.

It’s only a matter of time.

**Author's Note:**

> as always massive thank u to noot, to who i sent “hm. celbarnes royal au?” and then we spiralled together about a royal au that genuinely made my chest hurt with the longing. this wasn’t even the part that made my chest hurt! 
> 
> slaps celbarnes these two can fit so many tropes in them


End file.
